Elizaveta in Wonderland
by poshcinnamon
Summary: We all know the story of Alice in Wonderland, how the girl falls down the rabbit hole yadda, yadda, yadda. But what if it had a Hetalian twist? I present to you; Elizaveta in Wonderland! Join Elizaveta down the rabbit hole to see this classic tale with all your favourite Hetalia characters! Rated T for tsunderes Also implied UsUk because I'm such trash I apologize
1. Chapter 1

Elizaveta was annoyed, again.

She felt as though no matter how much she tried, she could just not impress anyone; nor convince anyone that despite being female, she could totally knock someone's teeth out if provoked.

And she may or may now have done exactly such.

It wasn't her fault that damn albino was so infuriating, let alone his stupid European friends- what were they? French and... Mexican? She didn't know, or care. Point is she was infuriated she had to deal with such.. Idiots.

She soon came across a small forest, and - annoyed with everyone back in town anyway - decided to enter to have a peek. Besides, she could handle herself!

 _"Roma's gonna kill me.."_

Elizaveta turned quickly in search for the subject of the noise.

 _"I'm so late ugh, I'm so late!"_

Elizaveta saw a tan looking boy bounce past in... Bunny ears?

It took her a moment to process.

"What the..?"

The boy rushed to a large oak tree, seemingly in the center of the forest- and disappeared from sight.

Elizavetas curiosity was not something that could be contained. She soon went to investigate.

Elizaveta approached the tree, cautiously as though it contained magical roots.

There she found something quite peculiar.

A rather large rabbit hole.

Elizaveta rested on her knees, and peered over the edge.

"How far does this g-"

But one cannot really finish their sentences while falling.

It took a moment for her to register what exactly was happening. But once she found she was falling, she couldn't bring herself to scream. In fact quite the opposite. She felt oddly calm- honestly she half thought she was going mad. Who on earth would be calm in this situation?

Elizaveta, apparently.

As she fell, she fell past several odd things, each one confusing her more then the last.

Scones, slightly charred and burnt at the edges.

A table set complete with tea and tea pot - and a strange hat that seemed to be relying on the patches keeping it together.

Several tomatoes that fell amongst roses.

And finally, a smoking pipe, that seemed to disappear as soon as it was sighted.

Elizaveta finally made it yo the ground, not even in slight pain. For she landed amongst a bed of flowers

That luck though.

Getting up and brushing herself off, she looked at her surroundings.

Above her was a very high ceiling, so high she could barley see the top.

The room was checkered, much alike a chess board. In each square however, there was a small picture of either a potato or a tomato.

"How peculiar". Elizaveta thought aloud, although no one would be listening.

In the center of the room, there stood a giant glass table, much bigger than Elizaveta by any means. It look fit for.. A giant!

"All of this is just.. Very peculiar" she thought aloud once more, really no one was listen-

 _Oh no I'm sorry I'm sorry_

Elizaveta turned to see a small boy scurry past.. Wearing mouse ears?

"What's with this peculiar place and varieties of animal ears!?"

The sudden loudness made the boy jump, he looked at Elizaveta with a mixture of fear and confusion, before hurrying away.  
"Wait! Come back!"

She just saw the boy seemingly become smaller, and hurry out a tiny door. Elizaveta quickly ran to it, only when she got to it, it was about the size of her head.

"What?"

She attempted to squeeze into the door, but to no prevail.

"Ughhh".

She turned back to the glass table centering the room, and noticed something she didn't see before.

"Is that a frying pan?"

Elizaveta approached the table for a closer look, almost to trip over.. A rock?

She looked closer at the object and realized it was not a rock- but a horribly burnt scone.

Attached to the scone, read a note that clearly said 'eat me'

"Well that is just weird. Who would leave a burnt scone lying around- and more for that matter, who would leave a scone lying around that says 'eat me'".

But, curiosity killed that cat as they say.

Lucky she wasn't necessarily killed by this- but the scone did taste like pure ash.

"Ergh" she groaned distastefully, wiping her tounge in a very un-lady like manner.

But soon did she notice her hands, and tounge were getting much bigger, and the rest of her doing so too.

She soon noticed she was taller then the table- but not just that. Almost touching the ceiling that once towered over her.

"What the?!"

She stopped growing abruptly, and Elizaveta looked down at the now _very small_ glass table.

She picked up the frying pan, now the size of a small stone in her hand, and found another item among the tables contents.

A small plate of pasta that read, the same message as before; 'eat me'.

"Well, I do suppose if the scone made me big- the pasta could do the opposite.. Right?"

Deciding to try her luck, she took a bight of the pasta- it was warm and delicious. A change to the charred scone.

Elizaveta became smaller, and smaller shrinking down, smaller then she was before. The frying pan seemed to grow smaller with her.

Now satisfied with her size, she made her way to the door, frying pan in hand.

She opened it, and entered outside- giving the room behind her one last glance. Then closing the door behind her.

If she was to have a guide, you'd think they might say;

Elizaveta? Welcome, to wonderland.


	2. Chapter 2

Now this place is even stranger then the last.

Elizaveta stood on a stone path, turning around, the door she had just shut behind her- seemingly vanished.

On each side of the path, was a series of lovely flowers, bushes, trees, and other various plant life. It was truly breath taking.

 _"Who, are you?"_

Elizaveta turned quickly, facing the noise, frying pan held defensively.

Only to see it was a strange boy that resembled a caterpillar?

The boy held a look of sternness, most of his golden hair up in a quiff, and a giant scarf adorned his neck. In one hand he held a smoking pipe, and the other hand was gestured out to Elizaveta.

"Excuse me?"

The caterpillar took another smoke from his pipe, and said "I will repeat myself. Who, are _you"._

The tone in which this strange boy asked such a question, for some reason infuriated her. Who was he to ask such a thing?

Wait, but what was so wrong about the particular question?

Elizaveta couldn't shake the feeling he _should_ know who she is, despite the fact she had never met him before.

Or had she?

"Ahem" The boy coughed, taking yet another smoke from his pipe.  
"If you keep coughing like that, surely you shouldn't be smoking".

The caterpillar- the boy- ugh whatever he was, looked at Elizaveta curiously.

"That was not the question. The question is, who are _yo_ -".

"I don't know!"

The answer had escaped Elizavetas lips before she had time to stop herself.

"Are you sure?"

Elizaveta shook her head. "Ah, no, no. My name is Elizaveta".

"No it isn't".

"What?! What a ridiculous thing to suggest! I ought to know who I am!"

"Ah, but you just said you didnt"

"But I-"

"Really I ought to know who you are, but how am I to know if you dont either?"

Elizaveta gaped at the .. Thing. She honestly didn't know what to say.

"You know you're a giant douche, right?"

The boy simply nodded until a russling was heard. He held a small smile, barley noticeable unless you looked closely, as a girl- about Elizavetas age (Although everyone seemed to be) came through the bushes, with short blonde hair and dazzling green eyes. Her face was alit with a smile, and on her back was magnificent ladybug wings.

"Ned!" The girl smiled, and ran to sit next to the cater-boy.

"Hello sister". He nodded quietly.  
Maybe he wasn't such a douche after all.

Elizaveta continued to walk down the path, but now it became steadily darker, and trees out grew the once breath taking plants.

The trees soon became so thick, the only source of light was the thin strips of sun, shining on the path ahead.

And glowing emerald eyes.

Elizaveta jumped at the appearance of the eyes, but soon noticed something above them.

"Eyebrows?"

"BLOODY HELL".

Elizaveta jumped at the sudden voice, as the owner of the eyes came into view.

"I can't go five minutes without someone noticing my eyebrows, not even in a dream!"

"What?"

"Oh never mind, Hello m'lady"

Elizaveta looked up at the owner of the eyes.. And the exceptionally large eyebrows.

The boy had dirty blonde hair, that was messy and unkept, everywhere in a sense.

From his head, (huzaah, more animal ears, Elizaveta thought) was a pair of cat ears, the colour of hot pink, and dark purple.

There were several aspects of him that were, interesting- but we'll go into that later.

Elizaveta finally found her voice.

"He-Hello?"

"I'm sorry if I frightened you, unfortunately I've been stuck watching the forest on look out"- and mumbling this part the boy added- "That stupid git mad hatter"..

"Mad hatter?"

The boy blushed at being overheard, but nodded his head in answer anyway.

"Ah yes, the mad hatter. Now I assume you'd like to meet him, after all he could know your way home".

Elizaveta nodded, not wanting to offend the so far, gentlemanly - however slightly terrifying- uh, cat-boy.

"Fair enough. I am Arthur, call me as such". The boy smiled, a hand stuck out to be shook.

"I am Elizaveta.. I think"

"Why think when I ought to know?"

"Sorry?"

"Ah- no _my_ apologies. We're all mad here".

 _We're all mad._


	3. Chapter 3

"Now then.." Arthur directed eye contact with Elizaveta. "You ought to want to find your way home yes?"

Elizaveta pondered the thought. "Yes I suppose so. Which way do I go?"

"Whom do you wish to find?"

"What?.. I don't know?"

"Then it really shouldn't matter, which way you go!"

"Dammit, now you're confusing me!"

Arthur smiled gently and held out a hand. "I suppose I'll take you to the mad hatter-" His expression changed, his eyes directed away from Elizaveta and his eyebrows drew together in a scowl. "Bloody git that mad hatter is".

"Then why are you taking me to him?"

Arthur jumped at the realization of being heard. "Ah! Yes, quite sorry. Well he's a wanker but no doubt he knows whats when".

"Was that even grammatically correct?"

"No m'lady. It wasn't".

"Yo! Eyebrow dude! Crazy tea party over here, c'mon over! Who's that chick?"

Arthur scowled in the direction of the- strange guy.

The boy was again, about the same age as herself and- Elizaveta thought, quite obnoxious.

He had a thick American accent, messy blonde hair- quite like Arthur's, although it was darker and had a strange cowlick that seemed to defy gravity.

His eyes were, quite a stunning blue and he seemed to have a pair of red glasses. Atop his head was a interesting top hat, black- But it held different patches, of very unflattering colour.

Arthur mumbled something that sounded like "wanker" and directed his attention to Elizaveta.

"Elizaveta, this is Alfred- Although he's more commonly known as-"

"The Mad Hatter!" The- Uh, Alfred cut in.

"Yes.. Alfred.." Arthur gritted his teeth. "The Mad Hatter".

"Don't be such a sulk Artie!" Alfred swung his arm around the shorter boy and ruffled his cat ears.

"That is a quite unpleasurable action Alfred. Stop".

Alfred stopped ruffling Arthurs cat ears, but kept his arm wrapped protectively around the boy- Arthur didn't seem to be complaining, although a small blush of annoyance began to form.

"Well! Nice to meet ya Elizabeth!" Alfred stuck out his free hand to Elizaveta, who took it but said in the calmest tone which she could suffice, (really not calm at all).

"It's Elizaveta".

"Sorry! sorry. Elizaveta". Alfred smiled.

"Hello Elizaveta" came a small voice from the other side of the table.

Elizaveta whipped around quickly, just to meet the eyes of a boy- who looked much to like Alfred for there to be no connection, but instead he had rabbit ears, hair of a similar shade yet lighter, wavy, and shoulder length, and quite peculiar purple eyes.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there!"

"That's alright.. No one really does.."

"That's Mattie! Well, his name's Mathew- But Mattie is alright, aye Matt?" Alfred cut in, taking away his protective arm away from Arthur and ruffling 'Mattie's' hair.

"Yes, its quite alright if you wish to call me that".

"Great". Arthur cut in. "Now what we came here for".

"Right!" Alfred smiled returning back to Arthur and wrapping an arm round his shoulders once more. "Directions home from Wonderland".

"Yeah.. How do I get out of here?"

"Well.. To do that, You'll have to create peace between the potato and tomato queens".

"Potato and Tomato queens? That just sounds ridiculous! I just want to go home!" Elizaveta pouted.

"And you shall, however without peace I'm afraid the door outta Wonderland is slammed shut" Alfred said with a strange sternness in his voice. "It's peace or nothing, sister".

Elizaveta huffed. "Fine. What's so wrong anyway?"

"Well, this is the story of the potato and tomato queens".

"Once, a long time ago a beloved king and queen ruled over our beautiful Wonderland. The two tried relentlessly to have a child, but alas it was not so. Therefor, they adopted a young boy called Feliks. Feliks was a kind- Well no that's not true. Feliks was and is a sarcastic ass. However he had his moments. He was good enough and kind for the most part, if not a little feminine.

But, just two years later the queen finally got pregnant. The kingdom rejoiced! But they had already promised rule to Feliks so they were sticking with that. However, when the queen died in child birth. It was a very sad time for us all but it turned out the queen had two twin boys, Lovino and Feliciano.

All grew up well enough and all as well. But tragedy struck again. When Feliks turned 18 the king fell ill and all said he would soon die. The coronation of Feliks to be king had to come early, but Lovino wasn't happy about that. In his rage, he objected at the ceremony and demanded he be crowned because he was the kings real son. Don't get him wrong, he was a good kid. It's not as if he planned to destroy the kingdom. He just wanted the title he thought was rightfully his.

There was a great war that split the kingdom in two. Those who were on Lovinos side, and those who were on Feliks side. It is said that in all this mayhem, Feliciano was torn seeing his brothers fight so he left off into the woods.

To this day the kingdoms are split into two. The two boys named their kingdoms respectively after their favourite food.

Right now, we're in the Lovino's kingdom, the tomato domain".

Elizaveta blinked, processing this new information. "Alright. What do I have to do first?"

"First, we enter the potato domain and visit queen Feliks".


	4. Chapter 4

Elizaveta's eyebrows drew together. "How do we even get to the potato domain?"

"Well there is one way". Arthur began, looking at Alfred with concern. "However it's rather… Difficult".

"Well what is it?" She huffed.

Alfred drew in a breath. "You'll have to get past the gates guards, they're rather.."

"Stupid". Arthur cut in.

"One of them is sensible!" Alfred argued

"The point is, they're rather easy to trick but if you're caught they are very strong".

"Well, I'll just have to take that risk!" Elizaveta replied, turning on her foot and walking away.

"Ah, it's this way". Alfred pointed in the opposite direction.

"Psh, I knew that" .

Elizaveta, Arthur and Alfred peered around a tree to look upon the gate being guarded by two tall boys, one with slicked back blonde hair and blue eyes, another with pale white hair and red eyes.

"They're brothers I believe". Arthur whispered to Elizaveta who just nodded in reply.

The three hid back behind the tree and Alfred began to whisper "Ok Artie your call. How are you going to distract them".

"What? Why me?! What do you suggest I would even _do_ , dress in drag and do the hula?!"

 _A beat plays_

" _Luau!"_

Arthur stood in front of the 2 brothers. He was dressed in a hula skirt and a necklace of flowers were around his neck.

" _If you're hungry for a hunk of fat and juicy meat"_

Arthur pulled Alfred out from behind the tree by the arm.

" _Eat my buddy Alfred here because he is a treat"._

Arthur swayed his hips and pushed Alfred forward

" _Come on down and dine, on this tasty swine all you have to do is get in line!"_

Elizaveta tiptoed from the other side of the tree, planning to sneak past the -very confused- guards.

" _Arrreeeee ya aching?"_

" _Yup yup yup" Alfred joined in_

Elizaveta sneaked behind the guards, throwing her frying pan over the fence and crossing her fingers that it wouldn't thud. As it softly hit the ground, holding her skirt in one hand she began to climb over the gate.

" _Forrrr some bacon?" Arthur began to look nervous as he was running out of lyrics._

" _Yup yup yup". Alfred looked at Arthur knowingly._

" _He's a huge git!"_

 _Alfred paused- "Hey!"_

" _You can be a huge git too!"_

Elizaveta jumped to the ground and picked up her frying pan. She was on the other side of the gate, in the potato domain.

" _Oi!" Alfred and Arthur did jazz hands. The guards looked horribly confused._

"Thank you for coming to our performance and good night!" Alfred cheered, before grabbing Arthur's hands and throwing him over the gate before jumping over behind.

"Oi! Get back here!" The guards shouted, but the trio had already ran for it.

Once they had gotten a safe distance away and caught their breath, Alfred stood up proudly.

"Elizaveta, welcome to the potato domain".

The land around them was, putting it simply- beautiful. Green hills rolled in the distance, the sun shone down brightly on a stone path not far from where the three stood, and there was green grass and thick forest as far as the eye could see. In each tree, grew potatoes (even though Elizaveta was sure that's not how potatoes are grown, but then again she had stopped questioning this wacky world around her).

"Wow" Elizaveta breathed, smiling and taking it all in.

"Wow indeed". Alfred said, patting her on the shoulder. "This place always seems to have more colour than the tomato domain".

Arthur's eyes sparkled in the sunlight and Alfred looked longingly at him

Elizaveta gave a knowing smile.

"Well let's get going then!" She interrupted pulling the two out of their separate dazes.

"Yes of course". Arthur replied. "Alfred, lead the way".

Alfred brightened. "My pleasure".

The trio followed the path, talking and laughing about anything before they came to an amazing river, calm and still. Over the river stood a bridge, so crossing was an option, however as they began to cross a voice was heard.

"Ohonhohon~"

"What's that?" Elizaveta asked

"Oh no.." Arthur sighed

"Ah! Ma Cherie! Chat violet!"

"Piss off". Arthur spat, as boy with wings appeared from under the bridge. The boy was mostly human, apart from a pair of raven black wings on his back. Aside from the strange accessory, he had styled blonde hair reaching his shoulders, bright blue eyes and was wearing a white blouse paired with black dress pants.

"Oh Angleterre, you wound me!" The boy feigned hurt, putting a hand dramatically to his forehead.

"What do you want Francis?" Alfred interrupted defensively.

"I mean not to be a bother". This so called 'Francis' pouted. "I just wanted to say hello and greet this lovely madame". Francis raised his eyebrows at Elizaveta, who in turn raised her frying pan.

"You better watch it" She snarled threateningly.

"Look no fighting is necessary" Alfred said putting himself between the two. "Francis, just leave us be".

"Hmph! I will let you be if you answer me these riddles 3". Francis exclaimed, holding up 3 fingers for emphasis.

"What the bloody hell?! We're not answering your stupid riddles you git! Just let us pass!"

"Aw, ma Cherie you are a tough one". Francis smirked, booping Arthur on the nose.

"I'm going to skin you and use your feathers as mattress stuffing!" Arthur hissed.

"Riddle one". Francis began. "What goes up, but never goes down?"

Alfred frowned. "That's stupid. Haven't you ever heard the phrase 'what goes up must come down'?"

Francis smiled. "Of course I have. However there is still an answer to my riddle".

"Your age!" Elizaveta said suddenly. "Your age! That's it".

"Very good madame". Francis smirked.

"Right ok that's fine and dandy can we go now?" Arthur snapped.

"Ah, ah, ah". Francis waved his finger. "I still have two more riddles".

Arthur bit at Francis obviously getting more and more annoyed.

Francis paid it no mind. "What is black, white and read all over"

"A newspaper!" Alfred sprung forward.

"Ah yes indeed Alfred". Francis cooed. "My my, you've gotten cuter haven't you~"

"Tell us the last riddle, frog!" Arthur practically yelled.

"Ah so rough". Francis laughed. "What can you put in a bucket to make it lighter?"

"Your mum". Alfred said.

Arthur punched him lightly on the arm. "Alfred".

"A hole?" Elizaveta questioned.

"Correct madame!" Francis smiled. "I thank you all for coming".

"Now let us go you son of a-"

"nICE LADY". Alfred cut in. "No let us leave please".

"Off you go then".

"Thank you! Bye bye!" Alfred chuckled taking a very heated Arthur and flustered Elizaveta with him.


End file.
